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Post  Admin on Sun Dec 26, 2010 12:55 am

Classic joke

1, unit message, a leader said: "I wish everybody body happy..." Suppress, MeiCi.

2, once helped boss ordered hotel, want to ask somebody else have what free Internet access service, such as but how also couldn't figure out how to say, so he asked each other, "excuse me, do you have any special service?"

Caller: "what??? We are special service regular hotel!"

- dx -!!!!

3, dormitory old four the bed sought along while slippers, no, ask everyone: why my slippers where go to?

4, shopping, suddenly friend exclaimed: "wow!" virgin bookstore "!" I was shocked and looked up, a plaque proclaiming, four characters

- foreign language bookstore - dx -!

5 and I have a time to buy mutton string

Stretch out 4 fingers to the boss said, "come 3 root mutton string"

The boss found "a few root?"

Again I stretch out three finger said "4 root"...

6, our general manager surnamed weeks, once he make a phone call, I was just driving, a nervous mouth will say: "premier zhou..."

7 I surnamed zhu, management unit room. Once someone call my mobile phone: "chicken section chief, you in pig room?" That guy was crazy scold a meal

8, in the canteen queue, heard flank a boy say: "teacher, come to bowl 'bullet cauliflower' soup!" (laver egg drop soup) haha, laugh too I spray soup.

9, one day in rice vermicelli shop at slowly very hungry

Finally according to bear growled, take table was gonna say don't on rice vermicelli I put table lift!

The result say: "boss into on again!!!!!!! I will put the table to eat rice vermicelli!!!!"

The whole shop 3 seconds after joke to silence under the table... A disgrace...

10, parents fight, my dad gas said a sentence: "I give you get out of here!"

11, high school when playing basketball, A ball, selfless passed to B, B easy goal. After A moment, B has the ball and A shouted the ball to him. B but yourself by throwing the ball out. The results A great anger shout: just really blind my dog eyes...

Full-court smile dizzy

12, impression in the primary monitor extremely serious, a ZiXiKe, the classroom thronged, monitor maintenance several times order after finally unbearable, stand up on striking table nupkins: who again noisy, his mouth interrupt!!! ... The class silence

13, university of time, we asked a the elder brothers Manchester united, he tied how excited said: "Manchester united lose, David Beckham to two tickets HuangPan next!"

14, no gold hoop stick is don't embrace porcelain live

15, when he was in university, a teacher lectures, about a new materials, said: "this material is old materials of sexual incomparable... yeah right, performance and function..."

16, just go to college, military training, the commander don't know where's accent, shout password - "left drill!" "To the right drill!"

17, the university time, heard a girl order: teacher, fry a plate of hot potato silk, don't put potato!

18 and when er4, our language teacher is a fresh from nanchang transferred to Beijing's old teacher, his accent is introduced.the. His son depend on the tsinghua architecture, this also is the purpose of he came to Beijing for his son, his pride, sum we speak of his son, every time all say "accidentally (I) moth (son) son is frog (tsinghua university toad (architecture) department"...

Moths if to frogs and toads there, not become a snack?...

19, noon cook, my mother gave me a pot of carrot: "go and change of diced carrots cut into!"

20, a colleague asked me yesterday. Holiday quarter how to write? My answer: CaoZi under the head with a holiday quarter remove CaoZi head! All personnel hilarious! I also temporarily no reaction to come over and ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~!

21 and when looking for a job, I asked me which graduated in.

I was supposed to say in 2000, the results of a concussion say: "two thousand years ago..."

The more waterfall sweat is, I unexpectedly oh 1, said: "Confucius students well."

22 and lesson 10 minutes, I sit at the same table he lifted up his hands and said, teacher, I want to go to the toilet.

English teacher is not happily say: all many adults still on the toilet?

22 and I have a classmate has been reviewing test calculator x-rated, one day to play football, another classmate ball to the bottom line, only heard him yell: enter! Enter! (cross

23, remember once went to buy a kind of call Elizabeth fruit, I open my mouth will say: boss, Shakespeare how many money? The boss spot stay

24, physics teacher speak wave: "this is a stout spring, I from both pushing it, see, it is changing dense (constipated)?"

25, listen to the classmate say,

Once they dormitory of a girl to buy sanitary napkin,

Say to the owner: a pack of sanitary napkin.

The boss unexpectedly ask: should three fresh or spicy?

Then that classmate leng4 once, say: three fresh right, I'm afraid I can't stand hot and spicy...

The teacher elder sister, 26, university education psychology. Late on... Into the classroom. Oblique glance at the blackboard one eye. Old professor angry, just call the teacher elder sister answered the blackboard. The teacher elder sister lysias along while said: "< > sexy and sex theory, this also too hard about now." the whole class scratch. (note. Professor original problem: < > of reason and perceptual

27, me a very good male classmate fell to sit on the ground, I expressed concern asked 1: "you ass sore!" Results carelessly become "your ass fell dead!" khan ~ ~ ~ this brother stood up clap bottom, put fart, saying "no death, also gasping!" I direct dizzy

28 and leadership of all drink, raised his glass loudly way: "let us together!" When the brain is too hot...

29 and, once we newspaper reporter interviewed some female star photography return, at the meeting him with this star how ripe. Old total looked at the table a lot of photos to open a sentence joke: I see you are into his royal photographer. But old total southern mandarin shady, "imperial" read aloud "day" sound. From then on, the poor photographers are called "daily photographer," he work overtime, of course, became "night with".

30, boss, have toilet paper to appease hunger card?

31, we have a colleague town on business, the dealer please to have a meal. Dinner should to urinate, dealers said just across from the have a toilet, you go to the door if say, we are opposite dinner is free. Our colleagues to save two cents, arrows step straight ahead, to confidently to tube toilet say: "I is to eat!"

32, I am the logistics department, after a year, the customer call inquires the goods before when it, because these days the unexamined feast, I also don't know orders, the contents of the uncensured asked 1: you what things?

33, I have a friend who had just seen the role of huang rong, about "dozen dog GunFa" very interested, often with a jest.

One day, he routinely for. Kicked others once, Shouting: "kicked the dog legs!" Everybody laugh wildly, he also feel embarrassed, they kicked, yell: "dog kick!"

34, my high school when holiday migrant work

At one restaurant want to find a job should be born of confederation

Because or children, and is the first part-time so nervous

Originally wanted to ask the manager need work, also wants to say ask need hands will compare implicative point

Results: "the manager said to them, have ye here need hatchet man?"

At that time almost find a hole drilling

35, once went to the market to buy vegetables, preparing dinner, a Korean friends bought lettuce, to the two pieces of four, he put them on all the change has given the hawker, still lack a dime to vendor, so he said --

"My hair, gives you, are so no hair."

Hawker was dumbfounded along while, answer --

"You of hair I don't."

36, managers meeting general about smoking of say: smoking are choke dead!!

37, remember that moment KFC out stay joss-stick wings, because no see ads are listening to what others say, always thought was liu xiang give KFC endorsement. To Ken, directly with the attendant say I want to liu xiang wings...

38, KFC Sudan red event after, I went to KFC

Waiter asked, what do you want?

I've never thought: a pair of Sudan red

Waiter suddenly a deputy was stomach expression

39, a few days ago off and several colleagues to a store for dinner, then store people a lot, a fat shout waiter is as busy as a bee, a colleague shout: "attendant ~ ~", the girl DianEr DianEr ran up: "several nodes what account?" When we emptied, go later this dinner, order when Shouting "waiter checkout", then eat to leave Shouting "order!!"

40, noon in the bathroom meet colleague, suddenly don't know what words to greet, unconcioursly asked to ask: "eat?" Ask to finish, chagrin, are embarrassed, colleague replied: "eat, do you?" I felt dizzy ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

41, my colleague ask RMB with yen exchange, ask him, he said, how is convertible with apes and the yen.

42, dormitory several elder brother watch prison break, play to one from his mouth out of the lens, the eldest brother blade murder suddenly jumped out 1: "I K, hidden in the blade in the mouth can talk, serving..."

43, one day noon, old mama let the dining table to edge laoge please move. My brother along while don't DongWo, old mama a nasty will become like this:

"Did you hear?! Call you to move the table beside two kilometers"

= _ =!!!

44, trade union chairman a impassioned speech last sentence to after reached a * * * * * * : comrades, let us this year's job to do better than next better! Full-court is down.

45, our teacher is very severe, some day, he say so: "your homework, we have to take out the answers, to play a fork, then write the correct answer......"

46, give long not contact friends to make a phone call, learned that he is being dealt with "suspended firewood"

47, jiangshan so many jiao, lead countless heroes shoot eagles...

48, go to the cinema to see pirates of the Caribbean ", before the beginning of the movie "transformers" trailer, saw deceptico princes how couldn't remember "megatron", also can't remember his team is called "the decepticons", because it was too excited, the result is a small exclaimed, "really handsome is NaBaTian!"

Yao is incredibly that time suddenly, without any movie sound, quiet N many people stare at me joke... Humiliated!

49, with a bunch of friends to dinner

One estimate is sold by brother, depressed not MenTou drank quite a lot of beer and then face be red stood up screams

Brother! Not out sale!!!

Estimation is originally want to say brothers not to betray


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Join date : 2010-10-25

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